Sunday, February 20, 2011 // back to top?DEAREST BOY. I just feel like blogging about you. :> Now its almost a month i'm without you. 180110 should have been our 1 Year 1 month. But i guess its all over for us. Now all that revolves around me is just you, you, you And YOU. It goes on everyday, my mind is thinking about you & my heart is missing you, pretty bad. >: Now, i miss every single thing about us, even the most minor memories we had before. I miss how you always make time for me, proving to me i'm more important than anything else. And now you don't anymore. You let it go so easily, and having to think about it, it hurrts that you just can't love me as much as i do. You put me through this journey filled with sweet & sour moments, but its just so unfair that you left me hanging in the air, feeling unappreciated at all. If only i could tell you how much you mean to me, i'll say the word "everything". You're my everything, and now that you're gone, i'm always missing something, and i knew it from the start that i'm missing you. It's crazy isn't it? Knowing that you love someone who's hurt you.. Its sad that there's always someone who'll disappoint you, there's always someone who'll make you unable to reach your happiness. Its so hurting, that i'm crying every single night, well you may find it stupid, but what do you expect me to do? To just smile, to just say that its okay, to act like everything's fine when they're not? Haisssshh. I just feel that, there will never be anyone who loves you as much as i do. Cause i know i'll never love any other as much as i love you. >: One day you'll realize how much i was there for you, when i'm gone. I don't know when will this misery end, or probably never? Hmmm. Sometimes saying goodbye to your past is the hardest thing to do, but sometimes saying hello to your present just makes you much more worst cause you know you're not really ready for a new start. I guess that's what i'm struggling through.. Its a struggle each day. I no longer bare to see you straight at your face, cause i swear im gonna burst into tears, and i bet you'll never be able to stop me. Its weird that sometimes i look forward too school each day to see you, and i'll be happy enuf. :> But i hate when you just remind me of misery/struggles/pain. It feel worst, i fcuking sweaaaaarrr ! >: Haisshhhhh.... Everyday i wake up, just wishing that things will work out for me. Frankly, i'm no longer hoping for us to be together again, in fact i'm just leaving it to fate. I'll never fall in love again, cause our love have taught me just enuf of pain. I had enuf of trying, cause how much i try, i will end up failing and hurting myself. Let fate decides my lovestory. (':
