Iraaaaaaa♥

Friday, March 25, 2011 // back to top?

Hello Readers! Its been long since i've updated. Hahaha. Nehh, i've been busy with lots of school works! YESSS, ALOT OF THEM! -.- So annoying. I will post a short post yeah. Im doing just fine in school despite the lots of school work i need to do. School has been fun, with all my friends and new friends i have. :> They have always been there, and its feels good. Atleast i dont have to be gloomy everytime. Just because of some situations im going thruu. Heheh. Since im single, ive been a VERYVERYVERY good girl! Haha, im for real! :p Ive been coming back home early, i dont slack anymore, only when i have group study with my classmates. Hehehe. I dont really appreciate my single life, well for suree im not used to it. But what to do. Hehehe. I'll bare with it. Now, everyday, i wake up from my sleep, and smile at the mirror, i will have a positive mind set and hope that everything is going to be okay. Im not denying that im no longer sad, or whether im over him, but what im doing now is just to hope for the best for myself. :> I try not to make this bother me soo much, especially my studies. I dont want my studies to be affected AT ALL! Hehehe. Haishh. But sometimes, i wish i could just have someone who could listen to me, to sit beside me and hear all that i have to say, to feel how i feel, to know just how it hurts and let me cry my lungs out for the LAST time. How i wished i could have that person to be you, yes you. Hmmm. You people may wonder, or think that im still hoping for him, but actually, thats not really true.. Im actually lost, and i how i wished i could clarify things for the last time, to let myself say what i have to say for just the last time. Hmm. Everyday has been a struggle. You know, i wished i had not fallen in love, i had not met him, and i had been single since. HOW I WISHEDDD! I really wanna reverse time. I hate how i am today. ): I just hope for the best. :/

Labels: It was tough since you left me. ♥♥♥

Thursday, February 24, 2011 // back to top?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ! I'm so hating my life right now. I just keep on feeling that there's just something missing. It's just ain't right.. Haaaishh. ): I swear to god, L.O.V.E had turned my life upside down. I've been missing you too much with all those memories & things we've been thru together that it is killing me slowly. I've gave up on you, and what we call LOVE. I don't wanna give a damn about all this, it sucks i swear. Its really heartbreaking knowing that all this has to end this way. Even know, i can't figure out what's wrng with me, what i really want now? What i want from you, what am i expecting? I just dont know, cause im really confuse with the situation i am in now. I just hope the best for me. I just wish things were fine! )': Its been hard, knowing we still love each other that much, but we're just not making it right again. Even now things gets worst as time goes, and ya'knw what? I cant stand it any longer. I just want all this to end, i wanna be happy like i used to, its just that now it will be without you, NO MORE YOU! Ya'knw, i swear i wanna get rid of you, but im not strong to face all this, im not able to, i guess? Haisssssssssh. I dont want to be stuck with you, cause its no use... I know things won't get better, i know you will be just fine without me in your life and most important of all, i know you can move on and have a fresh start. But i dont know if i can. When will i get rid of you, will it even take years? I wonder? Haisshhhh. The point that i cant take it any longer, i've really given up on you. I no longer wished you were mine again. Cause i'm really not the best for you, you can get someone way much better than me. Hmmmm. ): I could still rmber all those pain you've put me thru, and i've forgiven you. I hoped for all the things i've done and said, For all the hurt that i've caused you, i just hope you will forgive me, cause that wasn't what i meant to do. You know that i cant bare to hurt you, as what hurts you hurts me way much more! Im hurt with all those blames you're putting me, when you just dont realise all the pain im going thru with this left over pieces you left me. It hurts when you just don't seem to care and when you're not putting yourself in my position. You're being really unfair towards this.. Haishh. ): I can be the most nicest person to you, if ONLY you were able to make yourself understand me much better. Hmmm. I dont wanna quarrel with you over things anymore, and now i frequently give in with you, like you said, im no longer yours. YEAH, IM NO LONGER YOURS! SO NOW HECK CARE. Haaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiisssssssssssshhhhhhh. Are you even guilty for putting me thru all this? Dearest boy, i've just had enough. I did tried to understand the pain you're going thru, dont say tht i didnt understand you, well, I DID AND I TRIED.. But it needs two hands to clap, you're not trying to make yourself understand me AT ALL. Im over this dearest boy, i wanna be myself, my old self, leading my single life and giving my fuullest for my studies. I just want you to know, what im going thru is really tough, it really is. But i really thank you for all those sweet memories we used to have, thanks for making who i am today, and thnks for making me a stronger girl to be able to face all challenges that comes along the way. Everything has changed me. I dont need anyone to held on, i know i'll get over you. No more tears, no more being sad. I'll make it okay again, i will change this FUCKING life of mine. I just want the best for you, im sorry im not the best, at least ive tried to be. I'm leaving it all to fate for what will happen about us. Now, heck care. Its been too much of you on my mind, and NOW, i will think of myself. <3

Labels: We were not meant to be. If only i knew it from the beginning ):

Sunday, February 20, 2011 // back to top?

DEAREST BOY. I just feel like blogging about you. :> Now its almost a month i'm without you. 180110 should have been our 1 Year 1 month. But i guess its all over for us. Now all that revolves around me is just you, you, you And YOU. It goes on everyday, my mind is thinking about you & my heart is missing you, pretty bad. >: Now, i miss every single thing about us, even the most minor memories we had before. I miss how you always make time for me, proving to me i'm more important than anything else. And now you don't anymore. You let it go so easily, and having to think about it, it hurrts that you just can't love me as much as i do. You put me through this journey filled with sweet & sour moments, but its just so unfair that you left me hanging in the air, feeling unappreciated at all. If only i could tell you how much you mean to me, i'll say the word "everything". You're my everything, and now that you're gone, i'm always missing something, and i knew it from the start that i'm missing you. It's crazy isn't it? Knowing that you love someone who's hurt you.. Its sad that there's always someone who'll disappoint you, there's always someone who'll make you unable to reach your happiness. Its so hurting, that i'm crying every single night, well you may find it stupid, but what do you expect me to do? To just smile, to just say that its okay, to act like everything's fine when they're not? Haisssshh. I just feel that, there will never be anyone who loves you as much as i do. Cause i know i'll never love any other as much as i love you. >: One day you'll realize how much i was there for you, when i'm gone. I don't know when will this misery end, or probably never? Hmmm. Sometimes saying goodbye to your past is the hardest thing to do, but sometimes saying hello to your present just makes you much more worst cause you know you're not really ready for a new start. I guess that's what i'm struggling through.. Its a struggle each day. I no longer bare to see you straight at your face, cause i swear im gonna burst into tears, and i bet you'll never be able to stop me. Its weird that sometimes i look forward too school each day to see you, and i'll be happy enuf. :> But i hate when you just remind me of misery/struggles/pain. It feel worst, i fcuking sweaaaaarrr ! >: Haisshhhhh.... Everyday i wake up, just wishing that things will work out for me. Frankly, i'm no longer hoping for us to be together again, in fact i'm just leaving it to fate. I'll never fall in love again, cause our love have taught me just enuf of pain. I had enuf of trying, cause how much i try, i will end up failing and hurting myself. Let fate decides my lovestory. (':

Friday, February 18, 2011 // back to top?

Hey readers! Its been long since i've updated my blog. Like usuall, been busy lately. "Yeaah man!" Haha. So, let's talk about my day.. Today was a short school day, as lessons are much lesser. :> VeryVery tired liao. Haha. I really love my class! 3E2! We are full of nonsence, now its like almost each day we're getting scolded with Mr Chua, our form teacher. Hahahaha. The funny part is, we dont care. Lols. So jyeah, got scolded at the end of school, a 10 mins lecture, was really nothing for us. HAHAHA! And after school i rushed home with Diana. Then, went to 7-11 to eat, as i was DAMN hungry. Heheee. It was nice having her to accompany me all the till CC area. Reached there, Diana headed home and i went for my malay dance. TIREDDDDDDDD !
Hah, It was from 2.30pm till 4.30pm. And guess what !? Hahaha, I left my hp at CC ! OMGEEE. IM SO LOCKY I GOT IT BACK. :P Hehehehehehe. Thnks to Zyra & Gergerl for accompanying me there despite the rain. :> And then its HOME SWEET HOME ! (: That's all about "my day" Besides, today was supposed to be my special. In actual fact, not anymore. )': HAISSSHH. Sobsobsob. How i wished i could just rewind EVERYTHING, and make things right all over again for us? Haishhh. Dearest boy, we both know we still love each other. Its been tough. HELL YEAH, IT IS! Butbut, its just over. Its all over. )': I dont know when am i going to get over you, when you're now in my MIND 24/7 & i FUCKING MISS YOU! I swearrr, its killing me. How i ever freaking wish you knw what's going on with me, and how i freaking feell, having to bare all this pain every single day. How i wished i just could make you understand better. How sad right? Know im just leaving to fate to decide on all this, i've given up on trying, cause how much i try, i'll end up failing and hurt myself... OKAY, IM DONE ! BYEEEEEEE

Sunday, February 6, 2011 // back to top?

Heyy people ! ♥ I'm gonna update my blog. Weheee~ I just came back from Serangoon Shopping Mall, name "NEX". WAAAAH, ppl, the mall not bad ya'knw ! Hehe. Its big, the shops there are all affordable for uss, there's lots of food stalls, have cinema, got arcade and even a playground at the rooftop. The best thing is that, the playground has got water spray2 here and there. OHH MYY, hah, my eng sucks sia. Cause its difficult to explain okay. ^^ Lols. So yeahh, i spent almost my whole day with my parents. Hehee. Kaylah, i dont want post long3. BBye ! Tmrw school. ^^

Friday, February 4, 2011 // back to top?

Helloo Readers ! Im SUPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BORED ! -.- Hahaha. And so i decided to post. Just a short on will do yarhh. Well, i really feel like going out sia. But than to where ? Hmmm *Wondering* Haha. Since it was CNY. I've been eating a lot of junk food seyh. My chinese neighbour gave a lot of food. Including FERERO ROCHER ! Haha. I like that chocolate. Hehehee.
Than since my dad bought a lot of crackers, i've been munching crackers too. HAHA. No proper food yet to eat. Well, what will be today's menu ? I'll be cooking with my dearest mama. I'm a good cooker okay ! I swear ! Hahaha. Especially traditional malay dishes. I'm proud that i'm a trainee since small. Gonna be a good housewife for sureee ! Lols. Kaylah, sice i've been talking a lot craps, i would not add to it. BByee !

// back to top?

There's this person who sent me this. Haha. But still, im not ready yet to move

on, hmmm. Im still not ready for a replacement. ):
So check out what was written. ^